How To Find "Mr Right" Using a Fairy Tale

By April Lorier

So you are a Christian woman looking for a nice Christian man with whom you could spend the rest of your life. OK, so let's start by reading a fairy tale.

If a woman reads Lyman Frank Baum's classic tale, Wizard of Oz, analyzing the characters, it is a much more interesting read. There are four basic types of males within the tale. The question raised is what kind of man would you prefer to spend your life with?

The Scarecrow finds it very difficult to focus on what matters most. With his straw-filled head, he has no clue how to participate in relationships, especially with women. It never occurs to him that females are wired differently than men and that they have totally different needs. He has been wired to solve problems, to think, to analyze. What possible good could come from emotions or listening to her without interrupting when she's upset? And when the problem has been solved why does she need to keep talking about it? What is the point of crying, anyway? And hugs or strokes of understanding - oh, please! He's the man who says, "I do my part: I work my butt off to provide for her and the children. What else could she possibly need from me?"

The Tin Man flaunts his masculinity in a sexual way. You will not see him making himself vulnerable to anyone, least of all, a woman! If he ever does cry, you can be sure no one will witness it. It would be unmanly. His search for his heart is with sexual advances, lavish gifts, extravagant trips, and flashy clothes.

The Lion wants courage to take a risk, but usually the woman has to initiate the relationship. If she wins him, he will depend upon her courage as long as they're a couple. Oh, he parades around with bravado, flexing his muscles, but it is the woman who rules this man! If she doesn't like his family, he will slowly detach from his family of origin to keep her satisfied. He couldn't make it without her!

The Wizard is like a Chameleon, naturally colored for his surroundings as a camouflage. Need a hero? The Wizard can be your hero at a moment's notice! Need someone with finesse? The Wizard is your man! Need a charmer who makes you feel like a Princess? He's your Prince! Rarely does this man reveal who he really is. No, this man hides behind all types of facades - whatever serves his immediate purposes. This man can be all things to all people. That is, unless you want a man knows who he is and can be true to himself (and to you).

Lest you think there are no decent types out there, I hasten to add any one of these types can change. Many times all it takes is for a man to become a new creation in Christ. Scripture teaches the old man - the man he was before he committed him self to the Lordship of Jesus Christ - can be reborn from the inside out. As he matures in his walk with Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit will teach him how to be God's man. This is what a Christian woman wants!

Getting to know a man over a considerable length of time, and seeing how he reacts in a variety of situations will tell you who your man really is. It is not enough that you are attracted to him, or that he claims to be a Christian man! Premarital counseling with your pastor will reveal potential problems before you take the big plunge. Don't get in a big rush to snag that man! And most of all, make sure you are in an intimate relationship with your Savior at all times. After all, you want a man who puts God before you in the relationship. Those are the men who will treat you with gentleness, sacrificial love, and fidelity.

(c)2008 April Lorier

April Lorier is an award-winning poet, writer, Author, Christian Speaker, Columnist, and former music teacher.

As a pastor's daughter and a survivor of severe child abuse, April Lorier has an intimate knowledge of child abuse in and out of the church. She founded COPE, Inc, for the retraining of abusive parents. She successfully fought for the passage of The Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act (CANRA), signed by Ronald Reagan.

Her autobiography, "GOD'S BATTERED CHILD: Journey from Abuse to Leader" (2007) is available at Amazon, B & Nobles, Target and at http://gods-girl.com

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